So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
