The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
