I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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