What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
