I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
