I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
