You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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