Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
