I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
