I think I died a long time ago.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
