My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
