sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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