Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
