The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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