corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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