So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
