are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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