operation harelip BJ is a go
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
