I just saw a hot homeless man
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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