she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
