Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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