awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
