i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
