That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
