i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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