I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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