i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
