Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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