Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
