im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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