So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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