billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
40s are totally the cure
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
