I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
