mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
