dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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