Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
