so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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