I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just high enough for therapy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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