You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
