I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
