What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
