Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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