I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
