I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
