Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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