ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
