Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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