Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
