i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
