i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
