Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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