My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
