You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
