and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
